How I’m taking care of myself after two traumatic deaths

March is officially a strange month for my family. My sister celebrated her birthday on 22nd March and my dad on 30th March. In 2024, they turned 50 and 80 respectively, and we threw them a grand surprise party! 2 months later, they both died within a month of each other.

Yoh!!! When it rains, it pours, guys!

We cried so much in 2024, and that is when I decided to LIVE! That is how I am taking care of myself after those two traumatic experiences. I am LIVING my life to the fullest, because death?? It’s so final!!!

I am especially thankful to be living in Nairobi, a super vibrant city that allows me to LIVE! I have been sharing a bit more of my “life in Nairobi”, and I have gotten some (shady?) comments about how I have “quite the life” and “if all I ever do is go out”, and I embrace it all! I do indeed have quite a life, and I thoroughly enjoy it every day! When I am travelling and see something I’d have particularly liked to share with my dad, or that my sister would have enjoyed, I let the tears flow! I cry when I hear some songs, I cry when I’m tired, I cry when I’m in the toilet of a club at 3 am, I cried for a whole hour on the Arabian cruise thinking how my Dad will NEVER hear about it and also at the Vic Falls. I cry in the pool at my apartment because I will NEVER share those moments with my sister, and then I live even harder and love even more, because at the end of the day, that’s what matters, is how much life you had in you at the end (Did that sound wise??? Idk, I’m just making it up as I go🤣🤣)

So yes! In the 11 months that I’ve lived in Nairobi (as of April 2025), I have traveled, enjoyed multiple spa days, enjoyed boring weekends indoors, eaten soooo much chapati, picked up new hobbies, made new friends, held one pool party, one game night, countless dinner parties and chill sessions, been intentional about keeping my relationships back home intact, even though that has been hard because between May and July, I only went back home in an emergency to go and attend funerals, so I low key associate Zambia with pain, for now. But that will change soon.

I do everything with a new zest for life, even my job, which for a long time was a key lifeline. It provided structure, predictability, a sense of safety, and a much-needed routine. I don’t think my work ever suffered (or maybe it did, but my boss is just too nice to tell me) because I always channeled my dad’s love for doing things the right way.

I really do hope there is a heaven exactly as promised in the Bible because those two loved their God, and that was one of the most important things in their lives. I hope they are in the proverbial “better place.”

As for me, my day-to-day life is slowly becoming a better place. The sun shines a bit brighter daily, I cry way too easily and feel joy more intensely, and I also keep a lot more to myself (the irony is not lost on me). I don’t take anything for granted, and I live with so much gusto. It’s easy because I have the best support system a girl could ever ask for.