I know a beach snob who likes to say ‘life’s tough, huh?’ whenever he is doing something typically Caribbean like enjoying a boat trip with his friends, drinking flavoured rum, relaxing at the beach five minutes from his house, or complaining about traffic when there are only like four cars in front of him.
Obviously, with me living that big city life most of the time, I scoff at him when he says this. However, after an extended stay on St Thomas, I must say life on the island can be tough, but I managed to navigate it and so can you, with the help of this post that I wrote both as a rant and a guide to find your way on a Caribbean island.
Here’s why Island life is tough and how to survive…
You Can Never Decide Which Beach to Go to
The USVI has some of the most beautiful beaches in the world and each of them has its own charm. Hull Bay is great for surfing, Magens and Honeymoon are both amazing for a swim, and Trunk Bay’s snorkelling is (apparently) unparalleled (I’ve never snorkelled there, but I did meet someone who asked me how I “cope” in Africa with all the BokoHaram kidnappings and white genocide. FUN!). Some beaches have cute little bars and others have subpar ones while a few are still “untouched”. It is tempting to want to visit all of them but there are so many other things to do here that do not involve sitting in the sun and getting tanned because photo-aging is no joke.
You Can’t Find Any Good Seafood In The Supermarkets
…And with good reason! St Thomas has so many restaurants that serve seafood (as they should), so the fishermen always have a ready market and supply directly to these restaurants. There are fish markets available for those that absolutely want to cook their own fish, but you would have to be there before 6 am to get anything and it is pretty much a criminal offence to be up early when on a Caribbean holiday. Little known fact to tourists; you can walk into select restaurants with your fish/shrimp/crab and ask them to prepare it for you. Just as you can walk into 95 per cent of the establishments here with a drink purchased from somewhere else and no one will give you grief for it. Side-eyes all Joburg restaurants.
You Can’t Listen To Your Long Podcasts While You Drive
If you factor in making a few wrong turns and getting lost too, it will take you just over two hours to drive around St Croix with its rolling green fields and palm trees. Forget about listening to that 40-minute podcast while you drive anywhere in the VI because chances are you won’t be driving that long, leaving you more time to ooh and ahh at all the views.
You Can’t Just Uber To The Next Island
But you can sail there, get on a speed boat, dinghy, ferry, take a flight or even private jet there if you and your bank account are so inclined. St John is a popular island to pop over from St Thomas because their fine dining scene is really something. Check out this article on places to eat on St John.
Your 4C Hair Will Behave In Strange Ways
But it will also be the most moisturized you’ve ever seen it! That twist out will not work here, sis, but the moisture retention will shock you and detangling will be such a breeze. If you’re not wearing a protective style like braids or twists, best to have it in a bun or headwrap because the shrinkage that occurs in the Caribbean is in a league of its own.
PS; I understand the irony of writing this while having only been to four regions in the Caribbean. I’d accuse myself of being extra, but after I met someone whose blog is literally called Extra Is My Ordinary, I realized just how chill I am.