My mummy - gone with the angels

Exactly 21 months after my Dad passed on, his beloved wife, my mother passed away.

Once again, the sun dared to shine. Even when we had just lost our last surviving parent, even when we were still processing the shock and grief, procedures to process “the body” (ugh! How I hate that term) had begun.

The wheels of funeral arrangements were already in motion, the wind continued blowing, threatening rain, a welcome relief, atleast the skies would cry with us.

It’s unbelievable that I have to use the past tense to talk about my mum! She was larger than life!!!

Dorothy Ngosa Ephin Chiwaya Mutwale, AKA Mrs Mutwale, Dotty, Dot, Aunty D or simply, mummy, was a character!!! Loud, funny, fashionable and the biggest brag known to man! Woe unto whoever had the misfortune of being within earshot of her whenever something she was proud of happened 😆 that woman bragged about her kids, her travels, her husband, her home, her grandkids, everything!

Mum was ALWAYS prim and proper. She always wore a wig and a nice dress or skirt even when she’s in the house (unlike me, who likes to look homeless when I’m home). Everyone remarked at how she always kept herself event-ready and only wore a Chitenge at funerals or when visiting someone in hospital. Ha! The irony.

Mum also loved to cook!!! Stews and soups were her favorite thing to make, and she loved being in the kitchen, experimenting and making her staples. She got us all into eating sorghum Nshima, explaining that’s what Lamba’s traditionally ate, and when I would complain, she would make me maize Nshima.

She spoiled me!! Everyone in my life knows I wake up at 12 over the weekend, and when I moved in with my parents for a few years, she would tell the helpers in the morning “don’t make noise, the baby is sleeping”😆 the baby in question was 27 at the time.

Mum loved to sing!! She founded the (very creatively named 🤭) Ladies Choir at Faith Baptist Church and could ALWAYS be found singing or humming a tune. She especially loved choral music, old school Baptist hymns and anything by Harry Belafonte, an obvious influence from my Dad.

Mum was the proudest Lamba ever (which is saying something), she spoke it loud and proud, taught it to us and everyone just had to deal with it whether they understood or not. People also learned fast not to refer to the language as “broken Bemba” because they would face her wrath.

I’m so glad I got to see her for the adult she was, a soft-life loving adult. I created a monster when I started taking her to my massages with me, she demanded (and got) one every month and the ladies at Allure Day Spa in Kitwe were so good with her.

What will I tell my future children about you?

What a girl!!! Go well, you image-obsessed, witty, funny, God-loving, prayerful, shady, music loving, book loving, spoiled wife, our mother! You did well, you raised us well, you passed on your passions (thank you for the love of books and language you gave me), now go rest a bit and chill with your husband before you start your role as an ancestor.

Again, I hope that Heaven is as promised in the Bible you so loved and held on to, so that all your works and faith are rewarded.